This is a subject heavy on my mind today. Recently, I read about a principal who had instituted a new way to help students release their anger and frustration for himself and for teachers. He would place a photo of the teacher on a punching bag and encourage the students to wail away at it. There was immediate outcry from parents and community activists.

I had several feelings to arise when I read this story. First, I was filled with humor. I found myself laughing at such a ridiculous notion. The thought of pre-adolescents punching their teacher in the face made me giggle. I admit, I have a sick side to me.

Which leads me to the second emotion – I was a bit disgusted that we live in a world where children would even have such anger to let out. Are things so bad at that school that this principal would feel it necessary to resort to such a strange solution? Sick.

Today, though, I find myself thinking something entirely different. What is wrong with this idea? Why would it be either funny or disgusting? It seems to me – right at this moment, anyway – that it may be a very healthy way to deal with emotion.

We are inept at managing conflict. When I say “we,” I mean you! And, I mean me. In particular, I mean the Church, but I believe it to be a general problem in our culture. We either run from the conflict, sidetrack it by including those who should not be included, or blow up inappropriately and create additional conflict.

I’m beginning to believe that parents, community activists, and myself were disgusted by this innovative way for kids to deal with their feelings because we would much prefer everyone just smile and pretend it is all okay. I’m beginning to understand that my own laughter at such an idea is not so much my sick sense of humor as it is a discomfort with the idea of children actually being encouraged in the public arena to express their “negative feelings.”

We can’t manage conflict if we don’t acknowledge its existence. The elephant in the room isn’t going anywhere.